I'm on my Winter Recess from school?

I'm 19 years old and a math major. School is fine. But, now that my break is here, I have nothing to do at all. I also have a history of eating disorders and being all alone with food is hell. Also, the only friends I have are ex boyfriends, but they are always busy and every time I call either one, they never want to talk. I feel so worthless, I feel as though I want to die. They are truly just my friends now, there isn't any nasty-ness going on at all. But, one is really cruel and mean lately and the other rather do other things than talk to me. And even though I know they don't like that I bother, I call anyway because I just feel so lonely at times that I can't help me. But today, my feelings got hurt so much b/c I am ignored. It feels like the last straw. I just want to hide and sleep and never go out at all. I used to cut myself, but I stopped now I want to start again, but I am restraining myself. Lately I wait until my family goes to sleep and cry a lot at night. Someone, tell me what to do. I just want to be happy.